You are looking right at my greatest contribution to humanity for the past few weeks.
Being yayaless made me busier and exhausted. Prior to her leaving I was so worried I might miss out a lot - online, to-do lists, deliverables, back logs.....
but two full weeks today I’d say I never felt more fulfilled in my 2-day old sleep suit, unwashed hair — okay let’s stop at that. It’s gross I know 🤣
and being able to spend more time with my kids to play, watch TV (I resorted to that, yes, no regrets) while munching on a non-organic, commercially produced snack (okay that too, yikes) made me feel more alive.
More connected.
More present.
I finally had the chance to watch transformers the last knight with Atlas and well, Axis. Who would have thought, kuya can sing new divide in perfect tune and Axis likes dancing to it while clapping his hands!
Atlas now fully embraces his role as a big brother as I observed. Gone are the days I worry about leaving them alone in a room, halleluiah! I can peacefully juggle tasks one at a time as big A looks after little A.
Most of these things didn't make it to instagram, but the past two weeks I spent attending to these two has easily made it to the highlight reel of 2019 and 2020.
They are the kind of stories that won't expire in 24 hours,
not even in this lifetime, I swear my mom brain won't forget:
The cute conversations or arguments Atlas and I had, Axis' oh so cute antics, their little and big brother moments, the times I worried I can't deliver outputs to my bosses (but still did, quite, sorry and LY boss haha), all those moments I watched my husband do dishes without him knowing how sexy I thought he was, the times I got extremely angry and bursted out laughing instead ....
I might have etched these memories forever in my oblivious mind.
They're not picture perfect though. In fact, I actually thought I keep in losing my sanity and gain it back (I think) when both of them finally retire to bed at night. I can't even assure you I'm sane as of writing. HAH
But one thing I'm certain of:
The days were crazy and overwhelming but it was indeed the most beautiful ones. It gave me an opportunity to be closer not only to my little ones, but also to my parents and in-laws, who I haven't been spending time with lately.
Same goes with my husband who complains how badly he misses me. 🤣
It’s difficult not to have my yaya back, she helped my mom raise me. Imagine how hard that was, LOL. It’s as if it wasn’t enough for her, she also chose to help me with Atlas and Axis even though she can already retire.
So when she said she needed to leave, I wanted to mope around and feel sorry for myself but I know this is God’s way of sending in a wakeup call;
of prodding me with more important things:
People. Relationship. Time.
In the rush to get things done we've been losing time with people.
Although it may seem like it; we can't have them forever.
One snap and things can change for all of us.
My wish for all of us is that, in those moments when we’re so caught up with everyday trivial things, and while we’re in our endless pursuit to be highly productive every God given second, we get to be reminded that one moment the little one becomes all grown up;
our parents grow old;
some people leave;
and whatever moment we have right now is a gift. A chance. A present.
Tomorrow is never promised.
Love and light,
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